‘I don’t care that you’re hungover, get your fucking shit together’. ‘Alex, don’t half ass it, do the fucking technique properly’. ‘Fuck you.’ The following three quotes are from my supervisor while I worked turf and maintenance at a golf course, from my Jiu-Jitsu instructor, and a lacrosse coach from when I made a bad play, respectively. All three are and were leaders who have a collective goal. In no way was I singled out in any of these situations. Everyone was sworn at in these teams and organizations. On the flip side, these three leaders also swear with the team and organization. There is a difference between being sworn at and with, the same difference between being laughed at and being laughed with. The question of to swear or not to swear is complicated, at least for the younger generation. Swearing is embedded within society, everyone does it, even the cool kids on ‘Euphoria’. I shouldn’t say everyone, because there are always a few people who get offended like they never heard a curse word before. There is also the older generation where swearing was taboo, as well as showing a man and women in the same bed on television.
Baruch & Jenkins (2007) conducted a study on examining the use of swearing in the workplace, challenging leadership style, and suggesting ideas for best practices in within management. Results indicated that there is a generational gap in who swears and who does not. Those who swore were mainly under 30. There was also a managerial gap. Those in the lower end of the managerial hierarchy swore more often than those in higher management. Swearing developed solidarity, morale, and was an effective way to deal with stress. With anything, there needs to be boundaries. Swearing attached to encouragement should be encouraged. Being sworn at abusively is never okay in the workplace and increases overall stress levels. It can be beneficial to organizations to incorporate a permissive style of leadership under certain circumstances, for the employees’ overall benefit. However, Fielder’s Contingency Theory (1958) stating there is no one best style of leadership, but rather, the best style aligns with the situation.
You ever see those 24/7 Specials documenting the NHL teams in the Winter Classic back in the day? Those boys are wild. The things you hear from these NHL’ers, and those are the appropriate things. This illustrates that some environments are more suitable for swearing than others. In fact, I argue that swearing in this context is more effective. There are high stakes in a professional hockey game, in fact all professional sport games. As a player, would you rather have your captain say ‘Let’s go battle men!!’, or…. ‘Let’s go f***ing battle men!!’. If you are not a something willow, you would prefer the latter. It adds something to the words, to the goal, to the overall objective. There is no reason this cannot be transferred to other work environments, that are not professional sport leagues.
Words are powerful. You feel a certain type of way after an inspirational speech, when someone is whispering arousing words in your ear at the bar, or when you are getting reamed out for not taking out the garbage. Swear words can be used in a manner to inspire, arouse, or ream out. Swear words can be used to add emphasis, encouragement, and excitement. At work, when a manager says ‘You’re a f***ing rockstar Bill!’, do you really think Bill will be offended? If you know one of the Bill’s I know, he most definitely would not be. Swearing can be used to add emphasis and light a fire under the team’s butt. Inserting the f-word into a sentence can be effective, heightening the overall magnitude of the situation. Ie, ‘Get moving everyone, we need to finish those reports by the end of the week’, vs ‘ Get f***ing moving everyone, we need to finish those reports by the end of the week’. We are all adults, we have heard the word before, and the use of it in this context can (not always) signal urgency. Sometimes, things can be said in the open, other times, they should not be said in the open.
Erving Goffman developed a theory known as self-presentation theory. Self-presentation refers to how people attempt to present themselves to control or shape how others view them. It involves expressing oneself and behaving in ways that create a desired impression. Two important concepts of this theory to consider are the notion of frontstage and backstage. Frontstage is the way people behave when they know others are watching and needing to comply with expected norms. In the backstage, people are free from being scrutinized, expected to comply with norms, and can act with more candor. These are what are known as boundaries. Swearing can be said behind closed doors to the right people, at work, outside of work. As a leader, at times, swearing might be needed, but is not appropriate. Boundaries are important for swearing, or not swearing. Some people are also okay to be sworn at or with, while others are not. It is a tricky thing to balance, to be able to use words to get the best out of your employees. But leadership is an art, not a science. Well… even with science, you are just paid to find whatever results those funding want you to find. Anyway, there is no right way to do lead, be a leader, or carry out leadership. You need to figure it out, as a leader, and if it means dropping some f-bombs here and there, then so be it.
In all this, like everything, there is a time and place. Context is important, like who, what, where, when, and why. It is not needed for a manager to lean into their employees the way John Tortorella does his players, but once again, context. Within the game of hockey, tempers flare, stakes are high, and it’s a man’s game where the players need to deal with the swearing, on all fronts. I swear within these posts because I believe it adds emphasis to my points. At times, I do realize it gets sloppy and all the f-bombs do not need to be dropped, but I try my best. If you are an employer reading my blog and are considering not hiring me due to the language, consider if you have ever sworn at, with, or been sworn at. If that makes no difference to you, and in your heart of hearts, you think this will not make me a good member of your team, I fucking respect the shit out of your goddamn decision.